Listening

In a coaching process one of the most important tools is ‘Listening’. Used flexibly this simple tool can lead to significant insights.

For the coachee, being given the time ‘to be listened to’ is one of the most significant benefits that many remark upon. For many, the things that they may need to talk about most are the things that they may not actually be able to talk about. They can’t talk to their boss about some things, colleagues and friends may not be appropriate and perhaps it is just not possible to talk to a partner.

For those things that really need to be talked about, being the listener is a privilege.

‘Life Experience’ also teaches that there is little point contributing to a conversation until the other party is ready to listen. To listen to the coachee until they have finished speaking is a powerful technique. There is a clear progression as the coachee’s attitude and mood changes as the listening continues.

The Background

The coachee needed to ‘unload’ and the coaching session was a safe place to do it. She was feeling pretty fed up. Nothing seemed to be going right for her at the moment, in career and in life, life was full of disappointments.

The Process

There were anger and regrets about what might have been:

If only I’d….

I should have…

Over the course of the next twenty minutes or so, the level of anger and frustration began to subside and despite some tears, the emotions came back under control.

Calm and quiet was restored.

Some reflection and objectivity became possible. Other points of view were examined:

I suppose that if…

If I had…then…

The situation changed again. With insights, some balance and conclusions were being drawn:

Actually …I think in the past I…

Really….

On balance…I can appreciate….

I suppose I can…

The Outcomes

The coachee ultimately came to their own conclusions.

Listening and the Coaching process

Does listening to someone’s emotional expression help to achieve resolution?  Does the act of patient listening accelerate a process? Could the presence of a listener actually facilitate a resolution? Could the listener be the catalyst to enable the process to happen?

In the coaching conversation, the coachee’s (or Speaker’s) position and attitude can change quickly as they work through their emotions. There are strong similarities to the cycle of emotions and behaviours associated with change, grief and transformation.

Dependent upon the particular circumstances a coaching conversation might process as follows:

The speaker’s Status quo is challenged by an Insight, there is a Reaction, which probably passes selectively though Joy or Anger, Denial and Submission, to Searching, Frustration and Testing, before Finding, Building and Accepting a resolution.

The coach or listener contributes factors and element, such as:

Safety: The speaker should feel safe, the listener provides some physical safety

The coach/listener also provides a confidential, independent and objective ‘audience’.

Trust: Both listener and speaker have to have trust. The listener can enhance this with reassurance and encouragement and balance it with appropriate challenges.

Shaping the process: Perhaps a subtle intervention can ensure that the speaker explores all the issues, makes connections, and is challenged where appropriate and possible. Keeping the speaker focused can enable a thorough exploration.

The body language and presence of the listener could influence the speaker, providing a reflection or contrasting behaviour, perhaps also a ‘lead’ – an emotional ‘direction of travel’ and where appropriate being calm and relaxed, attentive and not reactive.

Paying attention: The listener focuses their eyes and attention exclusively onto the speaker, which helps the speaker to feel that their conversation has value.

Avoiding distractions by managing the listener’s own concentration and also the environment around the speaker.

Allowing the speaker to avoid ‘defending’ their behaviours, making defence unnecessary, enabling them to move through Anger or Denial and in so doing allowing a hard position to soften, giving the speaker space to Search and Test ‘new ground’ and perhaps alter their position.

The Listener, whilst providing challenge might not actually provide a solution – but allows the speaker to retain full ownership and responsibility for achieving their own resolution.

Because many coachees remark:’ I wish I’d had this conversation years ago’ it seems clear that coaching, and skilful listening enable people to make long overdue changes. It also seems likely that the ‘change’ process not only begins but concludes sooner, and faster with the catalytic presence of the coach – the skilled listener.

Achieving a Zero Inbox

 

Email is a feature of our lives that competes very effectively for our attention. It is almost impossible to imagine how we could manage without it, but it has its downsides, particularly if we don’t manage it effectively.

Whilst it collects incoming information for us into one place, our email Inbox is also a source of disruption, broken concentration and loss of focus. It interrupts our activities randomly, it takes priority over live interactions and conversations and it combines with the other pressures of life to increase total stress levels.

We are attuned to be aware of changes so anything ‘new’ takes our attention. That change in attention – the interruption, takes our energy and time to recover.

Failing to attend to the new email makes us feel anxious – are we keeping up to date, what’s happening? In amongst all the junk might be something important, we need to check it all – just in case.

We don’t always read an email’s contents with care – in scanning it, we misunderstand, assume and misinterpret.

We write our messages quickly, reactively, fail to write clearly, punctuation errors confuse the message further and we rarely consider the impact upon the recipient.

For a number of coachees, their personal effectiveness – organisation, decision making, and time management, is under pressure. In the coaching conversation however ‘the Inbox’ is rarely a significant part of the coachee’s agenda, it seems to be accepted as a necessary evil and very little can be done about it.

Intuition, experience and research indicate connections between email, stress, mood and happiness and personal effectiveness.

Change has to begin somewhere, the email inbox can be a good place to start. A few simple techniques to manage email can build the skills to begin a more extensive change process. Resolving issues with their email – as a route to improved personal effectiveness, has provided coachees with capacity, confidence, and skills to extend changes into other areas of their work and life.

This is one method of managing email to achieve a Zero Inbox:

The Objective

The Objective is a Zero inbox! To have no unread emails in our Inbox for more than a couple of hours – the Inbox should always be up to date and ideally empty!

This requires a flexible but clear decision making process – and the commitment to decide what to do with every email.

Set up filters

Set up and use blocking, junk and or spam filters.

For every email decide if it is ‘junk’ and set up the appropriate rules in a filter. Thereafter, any email classed as ‘junk’ by that rule goes into a Junk folder.

Review that Junk folder once a day and then delete its content! Once the filter’s rules work it saves reading 100’s of emails.

Scan the Inbox

Scan the remaining emails in the Inbox and decide if they are:

• to be added to the junk/deleted folder – in which case add them to the junk rule
• or to be ‘flagged’ for later ‘follow up’ action – in which case ‘Flag’ the email for ‘follow  up’
• or cleared ‘now’ if they are ‘simple’ – in which case – either clear it now or see the next step…

Use Subfolders

Create a set of Inbox subfolders.

Have a subfolder for each subject – create folders for clients, projects and personal things, whatever is important now. The logic and structure is entirely personal.

Set the Rules

Have a set of ‘sorting’ rules. (These could be managed by memory and/or the email system).

Sort all your remaining incoming emails into these ‘subject heading’ subfolders. Be clear how and why any email should go into any particular subfolder.

Sort all the emails from the Inbox into one of the subfolders. The Inbox should be empty.

Ensure that those emails that require action are ‘flagged’ for ‘follow up’.

Follow up

Create a single ‘follow up’ folder.

This is a folder created by ‘searching’ for all the emails flagged as ‘follow up’.

It is possible to see exactly how many emails still require a response as they are all visible in the ‘follow up’ folder. Experiment with allocating ‘dates’ to the ‘follow up’ flags.

Work through and action the contents of the ‘follow up’ folder. Clear it every day. Your responses should also go into the appropriate subfolders – but just check the ‘Sent’ folder and sort those emails too.

The Inbox should now be under control, up to date and empty!

Storytelling

Listening to a coachee’s story is a powerful action. For a significant proportion of coachees, the coaching session is the first time that they have told their whole story, to one person, at one time. Just ‘hearing’ their own story can be revealing. Time spent listening to the story is a useful early stage in building the relationship, identifying blockages and unlocking potential.

The experience of being listened to, confidentially, independently and without ‘judgement’ can be cathartic, insightful and revealing, enhancing trust, openness, self-awareness and a preparedness to become receptive, it helps to lower defences and move towards having an adult to adult conversation.

But it is not just the facts of the story that are important. The way the story is told is also revealing.

How quickly does the coachee tell their story?

The first telling of the life story can often be rushed, events collapsed and out of sequence, as if there is so much to tell and not enough time, or the story is not interesting and we should move on to something else, or even that the story is so familiar that it is assumed that the listener has heard it before.

What happens when the story is retold?

Going back over the story, step by step,  will enable the story teller to explore more detail.

Gentle prompting by the listener can begin to control the flow and refocus. Having heard the story once, the listener can assist in making connections, seeing repetition of events and ‘cycles’.

At what moment in their life does the coachee begin their story?

Extending the timeline further back beyond the initial starting point will often reveal important events that will aid understanding.

K started her story from the age of 16, but her earlier childhood held significant events that impacted upon her adult life. Only after trust has been established would the earlier story be told.

Q recalled being taken back to school, as a small child, by his mother for a disciplinary meeting in the headmaster’s office, 40 years later as a senior leader, this event impacted upon his confidence and ability to present in the Board room.

How long does it take and how much detail is included?

The storytelling is so important in building trust and understanding that the process should not be time-bound unnecessarily.

From the briefing given by the HR team it was clear that J had had a very difficult time at work and that he didn’t accept some of the ‘unfairness’ that he had experienced. He was also very suspicious of the coaching process.

The first coaching session lasted for 6 hours, and it was 5 ½ hours of storytelling before J approached the most difficult recent experiences. Having built the trust over the preceding period, J was able to accept his own story as he told it in full for the first time to anyone.

Sessions occurring early in the coaching series tend to feature more storytelling and therefore these sessions tend to be longer than sessions later in the coaching process. This can impact upon diary planning.

What does the coachee regard as being significant or important?

During the storytelling, people can find keys to their behaviour that they may have overlooked or judged to be insignificant.

H’s low self-esteem meant that he didn’t value his own experience, assuming that his individual mix of qualities, achievement and experience had no significance, his confidence was low partly because he didn’t know his own story or recognise his achievements.

Encouraging him to tell his story, to fill in the background details he didn’t think were important, enabled him to see his experiences as connected ‘chapters within a whole book’ – each phase adding to the story, each adding value to him as an employee, partner, friend and person.

Is this the whole story?

A complex story might exist in different places in their life, perhaps part is in childhood, part at work, some at home, some hidden away and forgotten. These phases are often partitioned away, perhaps hidden, disregarded, and assumed to be not relevant to the ‘current’ moment.

The revealing of the full story can be enormously insightful for the coachee, making connections and building their understanding of themselves.

Does the client’s Objective for the coaching affect their story?

Sometimes the coachee feels that they know ‘the answer’ and can gloss over details that could reveal an alternative interpretation.

K came to our coaching session with a firm objective. The story started at the point where K perceived the route to the objective might be found. But taking time to listen to the ‘presented’ story and its links to the ‘expected’ solution only told a part of the story and intuitively left many questions unanswered.

Patience encouraged further vital layers of the story to be revealed, K ‘remembered’ hidden and forgotten parts to the story and a new ‘sustainable’ route to a modified objective emerged, and K’s engagement and motivation increased.

A client has sent me a truly personal, hand made Christmas card

A client has sent me a truly personal, hand made Christmas card.
Wow!

New Appointment

I’ve just finished a meeting with a really significant organisation. This was an interesting conversation and a very refreshing experience for several reasons.
A well-known UK household name and one of the Big Four in their sector, this organisation has been using coaching for a number of years and understands its advantages. They have clearly thought through what coaching is all about and how they want to use it. In their presentation and awareness of coaching they came across as knowledgeable, flexible, open to working with different styles and seeking a partnership approach.
Coaching is fully supported and exemplified right at the very top of the organisation – all the Board members and senior managers have coaches. Coaching is not used or seen as a ‘remedial’ option, it is positioned as a development expectation that all the 200 senior people in the organisation and all the aspiring key talent will have access to regular coaching. It is offered to everyone with a title equivalent to ‘Head of’ in their organisation.
There are plans and budgets available to support the delivery of coaching, and the expenditure is committed, used and reported. They have delegated decision making to one person who sets the Coaching strategy and manages its implementation across the organisation –a staff complement of many thousands.
Our suitability was assessed quickly and decisively in the interview. The discussion indicated appropriate familiarisation and ‘on boarding’ and spoke of annual ‘gatherings’ to inform, share and update, and renew the partnership relationships with their external coaches.
Following my opening remarks, specific areas were explored:
How do you go about your continuing personal and professional development?  There was no prescription or expectation of a particular method, more an exploration of any approach and a test that CPD is at least considered.
Affiliation to any coaching bodies? It isn’t mandatory but would be another indication of professional standards.
How do you structure your coaching? I explained that coaching sessions are of indeterminate duration – each as long as it needed to be to conclude the conversation, not limited by the clock or a meeting room booking!
Do you have any particular areas of focus in your coaching offer? We explored the way we structure our coaching and the particular topics that seem to arise and the ‘level’ and description of a coachee. It was also apparent that prior experience in their industry sector was not an issue.
I asked how the organisation undertakes Evaluation of coaching. It was acknowledged that it is a challenging subject as the ‘outcomes’ arise in numerous forms. We shared honest views on the subject! Ultimately the process is to compare their initial expectations with the outcomes.
We have been working to set up this first meeting for some considerable time and there is a story of a good relationship having been been established through correspondence. For several reasons this was the right moment for a decision and the Big Blue Box has immediately been appointed to join their cohort of senior leadership coaches.

‘Team Coaching’ as an inappropriate solution

Here are two examples where ‘Team Coaching’ was incorrectly perceived as the solution to a problem within a group.

The newly appointed Operations Director was aiming to drive change but was experiencing something more than a passive aggressive response from colleagues. The leadership ‘team’ wasn’t working together – the old guard were protecting their turf, and the new appointees, whilst focusing upon the ‘task’, were pushing at sensitive boundaries and getting pushed back!

In another situation a major national organisation had been through a ‘leadership team coaching’ project. The scope of the coaching was restricted to focus upon ‘team performance issues’. For the participants the value and impact of the coaching was negligible – because it could not address issues particular to the individual. There was a lack of trust within the ‘team’ and the ‘controlling of the coaching agenda’ only seemed to highlight the problem.

In both of these situations coaching for the team is an inappropriate solution to the issues.

In the first example the leadership ‘team’ is not a team, a single solution is unlikely to apply equally, if at all, to each of the individuals in the team. The team are unlikely to cooperate without some preparatory work being undertaken at an individual level, to build engagement, to understand the individual’s (and subgroup) situations.

In the second example, individuals were not engaged in the process, and its scope was inappropriate to the individual needs. Restricting the ‘scope’ or focusing on a perceived issue for the coaching is not allowing the coaching to act in response to the real agenda for the individuals, and the result was a lack of engagement in the process.

Coaching is not a ‘magic bullet’- it has to be used with care when the pre-conditions for its success exist.

Team Coaching

My response when asked if I do ‘team coaching’ is usually to say ‘No I don’t do team coaching’. (I’m very cautious about being asked to deliver a prescribed solution – but that is another discussion.)

Consider the application of coaching to the definitions of teams and groups. (see Is that team really a team? )

A true team will be a rare thing – the individuals might put their self interest secondary to that of the team. To change one individual will potentially change the team dynamic, individual change will need to be carefully managed to maximise the performance of the wider team. Coaching for the whole team – as a team – would be ideal. True team coaching would be enhanced by specific coaching for the individuals to maximise their contribution to the team.

In the ‘group’ or non cohesive team situation, it is probably the individuals who would be more likely to benefit from some coaching. Coaching should be focused upon the individual and their performance. Once the individual is engaged, only then it would be appropriate to consider any role in a ‘team’. In a group situation the coaching would be oriented to improving individual performance. And then a view could be taken about the ongoing structure of the required team.

Coaching is a powerful tool, but it needs to be used with care because it won’t work in every situation, different situations need different coaching styles. Just because a group of people aren’t performing well together doesn’t mean that ‘team coaching’ is the solution.

My preference is to work with the individuals on a one to one basis. If this results in a better team player then that is good, but I see my priority and focus as enhancing the individual’s performance.

Because a ‘true’ team is a rare thing, most coaching labelled as ‘team coaching’ will take place within a loose group and should therefore focus on the individuals!

Is that team really a team?

I suspect that most ‘collections of people’ that are called a team are not in fact a team.

I suspect that many ‘teams’ are labelled incorrectly – it may be called a ‘team’ but more likely it is a much looser ‘grouping’.

I also suspect that a team structure may be inappropriate or unnecessary – some groups of individuals may be better suited to a looser working arrangement. Does that ‘senior leadership team’ really need to be as close as a team, or are they in fact simply a group of individuals who are cooperating – when it suits them?

We could be sidelined into a debate about what is a team, what is not a team, what is a group etc. For the purposes of discussion here, a working definition, subject to later revision etc is something like…

A team is a small number of people, working together in harmony, with common purpose, with relationships that are based upon mutual trust, where there is accepted leadership and cooperation, where tasks are performed with growing knowledge and skill, where values, attitudes and behaviours are supportive of the fellow members of the team. There will be cohesion, commonality of mood and humour, sensitivity to and awareness of others and a shared valuing of their inclusion in the team.

A group has some of the qualities noted above – but it is ‘looser’ – perhaps a collection of individuals, each person in contact with and acknowledging the other group members, having some shared purpose, location or reason to be together. There is a significant level of individuality, autonomy and difference, perhaps leading to occasional conflict.

Key points to observe in the determination of a team will be the quality of trust, cooperation and common purpose, the nature of respect, communication and individuality.

From a coaching perspective, working with a team or loose group would require different approaches.

Feedback from a new client

Evaluating coaching is often difficult – the impact can be subjective and specific to the individual, the results could be private to the coachee or impact them outside the working environment, the results can appear in unexpected areas, perhaps beyond scope of the briefing, and the timing could be extended as the results appear after some considerable period of reflection.

Even if a coaching project’s full impact might be ‘disconnected’ or obscured for the reasons outlined above, the coach’s reward and satisfaction from the interaction, and indeed our ‘learning’ from the process is a significant driver to ensure ‘feedback’ is actively encouraged.

With these considerations in mind, it’s (almost) always helpful to have feedback, reviews and evaluation.

In the email exchange below a new client has sponsored their first coaching assignment and then reviewed the coaching experience for that first coachee. The exchange is slightly edited for clarity and anonymity.

‘Hello Chris,

I promised to have a discussion with [the coachee] regarding the coaching assignment and I’m now in a position to provide some feedback.

Overall [the coachee] was very positive about the sessions and he feels that he has benefited as a result. He confessed that it was not what he expected, and when I explored this I think his expectation was that the session would focus on some key areas for him, one of these being his confidence with seniors, but he appreciated at the end why you had invested time getting to know him and why you needed to broaden the discussion.

I asked him how he is working with what he discovered during the sessions. He feels more confident in himself and from my perspective he appears more self aware and crucially not so hard on himself. I think this in itself has raised his confidence as I don’t think he ‘beats himself up’ over issues that aren’t easy to solve.

I discussed what further support he might need.’ None at the moment’ but we agreed we would review in 6 months time.

I also asked him if he would recommend using you for future assignments. [the coachee] was very positive on this but he did advise that we should match you with certain types of coachee. When I explored this I think he felt that your coaching style (the 4 session process) would suit some individuals more than others.

So overall some good feedback here. Many thanks for your input on this assignment….’

 

My reply:

….Thanks for the comment on the 4 session process and ‘suiting some individuals more than others’

I think that is exactly right [that 4 sessions may not suit every coachee]! It’s all subject to a 2 way chemistry test – either party can decline to engage for whatever reason, so we start with a clear engagement.

I would want the 4 sessions to really work for the individual. I structure the process around 4 sessions for specific reasons.

It’s 4 sessions because:

• ·         It’s not a long term relationship. It’s not therapy
• ·         It’s about a step change, impact and action, focused on doing it now!
• ·         It’s for people who are ready to make / need to make a change and are prepared to commit  and engage
• ·         Each session is as long as it needs to be – so that we finish the conversation
• ·         Coachees will have to work on making the change – I’m just the catalyst

 

I have some clients who have gone on to a second series and this is usually because they had not fully engaging in the first series, or having made a change, are wanting some ongoing support, in which case the pace of the second series changes to match that requirement.

It is also my intention, whenever I’m in [the client’s organisation] to have a ‘catch up’ chat with my coachees after the end of their series to see how well it has embedded. I still have to catch up [in this person’s case].

Remote Coaching

There is an increasing demand for coaching as it becomes recognised as a powerful tool for supporting and developing key people. But the conundrum is that these key people don’t have time, or cannot ‘meet’ due to travel commitments, and yet may need the opportunity to stop, reflect and plan before moving on.

So whilst ideally, and traditionally, coaching is a ‘face to face’ activity, to provide the vital support to these key people, there has to be a compromise. And perhaps that compromise may bring particular advantages.

1.                  What is ‘remote’ coaching?

Coaching is normally a ‘face to face’ conversation, with the coach and coachee in the same location, perhaps in a quiet room, undisturbed.

Remote coaching describes those interactions where the coach and coachee cannot hold the conversation ‘face to face’. The interaction may take place by normal telephone, by video link, ‘Skype’, email, or perhaps utilising social media, a ‘tablet’ device or calling using the facilities within a ‘smart phone’.

This can mean that the conversation can be ‘international’, across ‘time zones’ and doesn’t have to be ‘continuous’ – there could be intervals – for example if using email or messaging.

2.                  What are the benefits of remote coaching?

There are some highly significant benefits to consider for remote coaching.

a)                  Cost

There are potential savings in the cost of travel and venue. No one has to travel to a meeting.

b)                 Convenience

As travel is not a consideration it is easier to make time available for coaching. A conversation can now be hosted through a wide choice of media and at convenient times. It can even be ‘ad hoc’ – a conversation being held at the very time of need – assuming both parties are available.

c)                  Time

Remote coaching sessions are efficient, as the interruption to the working day is reduced and less ‘commitment’ of time is required – remote coaching session take less total time. And as there are possible ‘time zone’ and ‘time shift’ considerations, the remote coaching could be scheduled for ‘down time’ or at more flexible, mutually convenient times than the normal working hours.

d)                 Responsiveness and Accessibility

There is some experience that indicates that remote coaching sessions may be shorter but more frequent. And it is also quicker to arrange a phone call than a meeting in a mutually convenient location.

e)                  Selection

A key factor in any coaching relationship is the ‘chemistry’ between coach and coachee.  Remote coaching ensures that the coachee can have access and support from their preferred coach, facilitating the ongoing relationship. And project sponsors can use the appropriate coach for the particular project.

f)                   Effectiveness

Some situations lend themselves to remote coaching, particularly if there is an ongoing relationship and a clear agenda for the coaching. Some coachees respond to the directness and focus orientation that remote coaching tends to require.

3.                  What are the key points to consider when setting up remote coaching?

There are some general considerations that are particularly important in remote coaching:

a)                  Relationship

Coaching is about the relationship and the ‘chemistry’ is vital, be prepared to invest time in building trust. It is not an absolute requirement but remote coaching works really well when there has been a previous ‘face to face’ conversation. Consider using ‘visual’ media or ideally, facilitating a ‘face to face’ meeting in the early stages.

b)                 Environment

It is important to find a time and a space to have the conversation, background noise, interruptions, telephones, messages and computer screens can all intrude into the conversation.

c)                  Etiquette, Multitasking

Give time to the coaching – texting, emails and messaging or doing other tasks in the coaching session means that the focus is not on the coaching. Remove those temptations!

d)                 Communication

Because much of the body language, facial expression, ‘signalling’, communication, intonation and their meaning could be missing we have to be more aware of how the other party in feeling, reacting, etc. Consider looking ‘into the camera’ when using video so that the other party experiences ‘eye contact’. Whilst non verbal communication can help to signal the necessary flow or direction of a ‘face to face’ coaching session, silence on a telephone call could be misunderstood. We have to communicate that we are still in communication!

e)                  Agenda

A ‘face to face’ conversation can be allowed (and even encouraged) to ‘wander’, but it is perhaps more necessary to have an agenda when undertaking remote coaching. An agreed agenda could assist in retaining direction and focus whilst coaching remotely.

4.                  How could a remote coaching project be structured?

These are a number of options to consider when planning remote coaching:

• The structure of a remote coaching project can be more flexible as sessions are easier to arrange, but a series of session dates should still be planned and commitments made in the diary
• Remote coaching projects may require more sessions – typically six sessions
• There should also be a clear limit to the total resourcing to ensure that there is sufficient ‘imperative’ and motivation to achieve any outcomes within agreed limits
• Coaching sessions are likely to be shorter and more frequent
• Equivalent amounts of total coaching time should be potentially available (when compared to ‘face to face’ coaching)
• Whilst each session could potentially be of indeterminate duration, each session should only continue as long as it is being effective – the length of the session is not important. The quality and impact of the session is not determined by its duration
• The scope and agenda for remote coaching may benefit from being more specific  and targeted
• Any briefing from the coachee’s manager, or project sponsor will potentially need to be more thorough in order to guide the coach to the key development / support issues and assist in defining the scope and agenda
• Consider minimising any potential interference, risks, communication and technical issues that could impede the effective set up –‘test’ any technical set up
• As with a ‘face to face’ session, the coachee’s commitment to the session and process is paramount. Whilst the coaching session could just be a telephone call, coachee’s should allow themselves time to prepare and allow time after each coaching session to ‘normalise’ before rejoining their working environment